December 4, 2009
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17. WHEN YOU DOWNLOAD A SONG WITHOUT PREVIEWING IT AND LATER YOU’RE LISTENING TO YOUR IPOD AND THAT SONG COMES ON AND IT’S SUPER LOUD.

December 1, 2009
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16. WHEN YOU YAWN, IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO EXHALE THAT MUCH [MALODOROUS] AIR INTO THE PORTION OF THE ATMOSPHERE THAT I AM DIRECTLY BREATHING?

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15. SCENE KIDS WHO ADD EVERY PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE AND THEN PROCEED TO WRITE IN THEIR ABOUT ME ALL THEIR NEGATIVE TRAITS AND HOW “YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ME, I HATE EVERYONE AND I WANT TO KILL THE WORLD.”

November 23, 2009
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14. WHEN YOU DOWNLOAD A SONG AND IN THE BACKGROUND YOU HEAR SOME WANNABE QUASI-RAPPER THAT KEEPS REPEATING SOMETHING STUPID LIKE “YOHH WHAT IT DO IT YO BOY T-PISTOL WITH A BURN EXCLUSIVE BABY LETZ RUN DAT.” YES I DOWNLOADED IT BUT I JUST WANT TO HEAR MY SONG SANS THE ANNOYING GUY YAPPING IN THE BACKGROUND. YOU AREN’T REPPING ANYTHING! YOUR PRESENCE IS FUTILE!

November 9, 2009
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13. PETA IS FUCKING CRAZY. THEY’VE LOST SIGHT OF MORALITY WHEN MORALITY IS THEIR REASON FOR FIGHTING. SINCE WHEN DID THE IMPORTANCE OF ANIMAL RIGHTS SURPASS THE DIGNITY AND INTEGRITY OF HUMAN BEINGS?

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12. BOYS WHO LIE AND SAY THAT YOU CAME ON TO THEM BEFORE OR THAT YOU SCREWED THEM LAST NIGHT. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE HIDEOUSLY UGLY. WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT? YOU’RE SO INCREDIBLY PATHETIC AND YOUR SEX LIFE IS SO DULL AND STAGNANT THAT YOU HAVE TO CREATE A MAKE-BELIEVE FANTASY.

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11. WHY IS RIPPING THE TAGS OFF A MATTRESS ILLEGAL?

I know it’s just illegal for the seller, but it’s weird nonetheless.

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10. WHEN SOMEONE THROWS UP AT A PARTY AND COMES BACK AND KISSES YOU.

November 8, 2009
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9. WHEN YOU’RE PEEING IN A BATHROOM WITH A ROW OF EMPTY STALLS AND SOMEONE COMES IN AND CHOOSES THE STALL DIRECTLY ADJACENT TO YOURS. REALLY? I CAN NOW HEAR YOU PEEING QUITE CLEARLY FROM A FOOT AWAY AND IT IS MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. THANK YOU JERK OF AMERICA.

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8. D-BAGS WHO AREN’T HOMOSEXUAL WITH VNECKS THAT ARE LOWER THAN MINE. YEAH MY BRA IS SHOWING BUT YOUR VAGINA IS TOO.

VHAT GRINDS MY GEARS

I MEAN REALLY GRINDS 'em GOOD!

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